Monday, December 30, 2013

2013 In Review

2013 has been a year of Blessings and hardships.  I suppose that's to be expected.  You have good with the bad.  A group of my friends and I got together Friday for lunch and had a good ole gripe session.  The general consensus? 2013 stunk. We've all been going through the motions, not enjoying life.  I can't even begin to recall last January through April.  It seems as if I've been stuck in the funk mode all year, even now wallowing in self pity and of all of the things I didn't like about this past year.

Here's the conclusion I came to today as I was sitting working with my blog design this afternoon and evening;  The Good Lord Above blessed me with a great many talents.  There are some things that, despite how hard I try, I'm never going to excel at.  I need to move on.  It doesn't mean I should stop doing those things, it just means I either need to accept it and do them as well as I can, or stop doing them.  Not easy for me.  I don't give up easily.  You see, He also gave me hard working parents who taught me the value of determination and hard work.  I may also have a *slight* stubborn streak.  At some point that determination and work becomes the very definition of insanity.  Nothing changes but I'm still working, more exhausted, and more frustrated than ever.   This is the first year I can say I have successfully resigned many of those frustrations and decided to be smarter instead of beating my head against the wall day after day after day. Surprisingly the decisions to give up and change these habits were easier than I ever expected.  It was more of a weight lifted than a burden on my heart.

The best part of these decisions and changes has been the support of my friends and family.  The only one who thought I had failed in some way was me. What's up with that? I'm my own worst critic. Even though these changes took them from my direct day to day contact, they get it.  They understood.  They love me anyway and I love them.

I look ahead to the next year with a skip in my step; of brighter, bolder things to come.  Do I have lofty goals for the next 12 months?  Of course I do.  And I will fail repeatedly.  I will get up, dust myself off and try again.  Because it's what I do. It's who I am and I'm ok with that.

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