Monday, June 8, 2015

The Coaching Wife's Confidence Builders

Sometimes I feel too busy to see the real picture. Like all of the stuff stands in the way of visualizing my true self. All that can be heard is the negative voice chattering in my head about what I should be doing, how I don't compare to another in some way, that I made too many bad choices with my food/exercise/work/family today, I could be doing more with my time at this very second, yada, yada. All the while I can feel myself shrinking into a little ball of self-loathing, complaining, woe-is-me grump. Humph.

Hey little voice-- SHUT UP ALREADY!  See image below, Negative Nelly! Ain't nobody got time for the negative voice!

There are times and situations I feel crazy insecurity creeping back in and I feel myself start to shrink. The hole swallows me up. The quietness comes over me. The rain clouds start to form. That darn voice starts singing its songs of despair and doubt in my abilities to be successful in life. 

Are you with me here? Am I crazy? Well, probably so, but I embrace that craziness and run with it. It's what makes me a good at my job and a great mom. Here's what I've learned about myself and my crazy alter ego that likes to insert self-doubt; I'm the only one who can hear this stupid voice. No one else controls my feelings about myself and my abilities. It's all me. As soon as I tell that voice to stick it where the sun don't shine things start to improve. How you deal with the negative-self talk is totally under your control. You choose whether or not to listen to and get sucked in by those negative thoughts.  This doesn't happen over night. It takes time to really believe the positive side of things. It's that old adage of "fake it 'til you make it" kind of thing. The more you tell yourself something the more likely you are to believe it. 

  • Blow your own horn. Um, hello! You did some stuff and it was awesome.  You have worked hard for what you believe in and that's a big deal.
  •  Visualize Success. Make a list or find pictures of what your personal success looks like. What are your action steps to get there? Make it visual. Now play that visual recording with positive affirmations in your mind throughout the day. Seriously. Set a reminder on your phone and read through the steps a several times a day. You won't believe how crazy inspiring that can be! Fake it 'til you make it, girl! 
  • Smile a lot. Like even when you're not feeling it. Pretend you're Buddy the Elf and smiling is your favorite. Oh wait, that was singing. Whatev. You get the picture. Smile like the sun is shining and you just won $1000 on a scratch off ticket! Today is your day to shine, baby! You just feel better about life when you're smiling.
  • Stand up straight. Seems simple right? Posture is so important at conveying confidence. You look like the top dog. You are in charge of this bish. Get it gurl! It also forces you to hold your core which strengthens the abdominal and back muscles. Who couldn't use a little more core strength? Am I right?
  • Compliment others. Be real about this one. Don't tell someone you like their shirt when you think it's the worst thing you've seen this week. Be sincere. When you compliment others it helps bring a smile to their faces, which in turn inspires others to do the same. It's that whole random act of kindness phenomenon.  Who doesn't want a little more nice in their life. 
  • Give yourself credit. This kind of goes along with blowing your own horn. If someone compliments you for something, OWN IT! You did that! Don't say, "oh it was nothing," because we all know that's a lie. You took time to achieve something so cown that. Say thank you and rock on with your bad self. Smile for heaven's sake! Just the same with things you've overcome. Own it! You crushed something and it made you better. Let go of the negative and the stress that you feel about it. It makes you who you are and You.Are.Awesome! Did you hear that? You are freaking amazing. Rock it with all you have!

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